Live Each Day as if it is my First

It’s a cliché, a book and a song….’live each moment as if it was your last’. While the concept behind the words is understandable in that we often take our time for granted and get so caught up in the business of life that we put off living, it occurred to me this morning, while snuggled on the couch in my soft night gown, drinking coffee with my husband like I am so blessed to do every morning, that if I truly faced each day like it was my last I would be feeling a constant sense of closure and terminal thinking.

What if, instead, we lived each moment as if it was our first?

Remember all the amazing ‘firsts’ when you were little? The first time you rode a bike by yourself, the first time you made a snow angel or tasted ‘snow ice cream’…..the first time you liked a boy and he liked you back…the first time you rode a roller coaster or held a puppy?


But those firsts were just the beginning of many firsts. The first time you set foot in the crystal blue Caribbean water….the first time he kissed you…..the first time you saw something so beautiful it literally took your breath away…the first time you held your baby. The feeling is so intense and spectacular that you want to soak up every second of that minute.

There’s a bible passage in the old testament that says “...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning…”

The truth is we can’t truly experience something for the 100th time as if it was our first nor can we imagine that it’s our last and know how it would actually feel. But if I reach over and put my arms around my husband’s body as we both begin to awaken each day and hold each other knowing that this first moment of this new day I get to wake up next to him then maybe…just maybe…I can experience first love over and over – new every morning.

Saying Goodbye to my SIC

I've been busy. I've been lazy. I haven't updated my uber-fun blog in quite a while for a number of reason - most of which do not matter. So why today? Why choose to reach out to the few of you who have actually read my attempts at humor or sharing a perspective on life that seems, perhaps, a bit twisted...or tilted to say the least. Because you are a safe. Most of you don't know me so I don't have to worry about the 'personal' factor. But I feel like I have to say something out loud! I actually would love to SCREAM these words - maybe saying them will make the pain vanish into the thin air once they're said. My SIC committed suicide four weeks ago today. There I said it. She was actually, my sister-in-law but if you've read most of my posts you'll find that she's been a major part of my life and therefore she gained the title of "Sister in Crime" - it was all in fun. I thought we were having so much fun. But fun cannot mend a heart that has been shattered or cure the dark world called "depression". I didn't know how deep her depression was and I swear to you.....I didn't have one glimpse of a clue that this could have been a remote thought in her mind. Suicide. No one could have imagined that this beautiful smiling...always laughing....game-loving, family centered girl could choose to leave us all behind - to pick up the pieces of this violent tragedy and move on with our own lives....without her in it. But I will go on - we all will. Each of us crosses our own paths of sorrow and pain and go on. They say 'time heals all wounds' (it does not). Love, however, does. Does someone need to hear from you just how much you love them? Don't wait another minute.

My sweet sister.....this is how I will remember her.

Egg Company vs. Oil Company

I wish the Egg companies ran the Oil companies - if the law of supply and demand is the basis for raising oil prices then why are eggs always cheaper the week of Easter? Just a thought......

So...this was my actual Facebook post this week. Would you like a peek at the kind of friends I have? Here are the replies I got:

* Its a right "wing" conspiracy the hens devised!

* Mainly because people speculate on oil futures a lot more than on egg futures. And fear (of which there is much in this world) makes oil prices rise on the futures market. Eggs? Not so much.

* Right. They speckle-late and dye eggs. As opposed to speculating on futures. Ah-hem.

* This idea may not be all you think it is "cracked" up to be.

* All those oil people are bad eggs.

MY REPLY: I just realized I have eggs-tra special friends. Should I put you all in one basket? :-)

* As long as we are all equally "yoked!"

* Just don't count all your friends until they've commented.

* I'm really scrambling to come up with a good egg pun......."/

So.....
as long as I have friends like these I know that even if gas prices soar, the housing market continues to tank, and I have yet to purchase an iPhone that I will always be able to laugh! “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”

The Default Chick Flick

I want to make a Cheesy Chick Flick that becomes the anthem for those who have no interest in the Super Bowl. Admit it...Sleepless in Seattle is cheesy and yet....I have fallen prey to its mesmerizing call - like that of the seductive siren of mythological lore - at least a dozen times....ok, more like two dozen but who's counting? Point is....every time a Major Testosterone Fest is being televised the counter attack is always "Sleepless in Seattle".
Why didn't I write this one (or any other one for that matter)?
Are we that easily pacified?
Apparently so.
Ok...here comes the part where Meg Ryan is peeling the apple and listening to the little boy on the radio talk about how lonely his dad is and....oh, I can't type any more with the stupid tears in my eyes.
Stupid chick flick.

The Danger of Working from Home

I can be at work as early as I want, work as late as I want, work in my pjs and fuzzy slippers if I want, and watch Ellen if I want. I can play Solitaire if I want and not worry if a boss will catch me, I can blog if I want (what? who does that during work hours?) and I can take my lunch break on the deck by the pool...for two hours if I want.

But sadly, my choices for interactive conversation are limited.

Today, I said hello to The Grinch...and then pushed the little button so I could hear his response. He said...'you're a mean one'.

Bah-humbug Mr. Grinch.....so I went upstairs to talk to Santa Homer and get his opinion. I greeted him in his native language by saying "DOH HO HO". Then I pushed his little button. He said "this suit is itchy....now when am I getting paid?" I said "Look buster....you get one more chance or you and The Grinch will both spend Christmas in the fireplace...with your little plastic chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

I hesitantly pushed the button and what did I hear? "Deck the halls with Buddy Holly...fa la la la la.....singing Polly Wolly Doddle all the day". Seems like someone found their Christmas spirit!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

The Pressure is off - Christmas gift DONE!

When I was a newlywed I was full of ideas of what to give my husband for special occasions - or just random days. He'd even so much as whisper something he liked and VOILA - it would show up in a wrapped box. Or in his closet.....or in the yard (when I surpirsed him with a new shiny basketball goal).

But once I had completed his wardrobe makeover (which was more for ME and my reputation - ha) and stocked the workout room with every type of exercise equipment known to mankind....I was out of ideas.

Men are hard to shop for....has anyone else noticed that or is it just me? :-)

It didn't take us long to figure out that "stuff" was, well...just stuff and really - does he need a super-charged car vacuum or bendable flashlight? What we both love is just hanging out in fun places. Ok...some of our fun places may also include a tropical beach but we also love music and concerts.

We love old rock 'n roll. We love classical music. We love country (**correction**...I love country...he endured a Garth Brooks concert). So last night when we were watching an old concert on TV by a group we both loved he said "if they ever come to town, we'll go". Two minutes later, the Public Television lady comes on and announces as part of the television station fundraiser they were selling primo seats to their concert (before the tickets go on sale to the public) which will be coming to our city in the spring!! We looked at each other in total shock, picked up and phone and got two AWESOME seats to see one of our favorite bands.

Then I said "Christmas gift...DONE". And each of us could not be happier. Maybe he a little more than me because this means he won't have to go near a mall. :-)

Two Steps Forward...One step back

I started jogging again!! YEAY!!!

I discovered a new Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

Oh....
My....
Goodness!!!!

Might I remind you that this blog's mantra is "Life is uncertain....eat dessert first". That being said, the motto does imply that there is something following the indulgence. Eat dessert first (but then what?). Let me assure you that it is worth it....even knowing I'll need to tack on an extra mile later.

What am I thankful for just two days before Thanksgiving? Ben & Jerry's new Oatmeal Cookie Chunk....and the strength to run it off. :-)

If it ain't broke....

So...remember the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? Ok..honestly, it wasn't one of my all time favorites - I remember it was entertaining but not a lot of the details. Except for one. I remember that the father thought Windex was a "cure all".

My dad opted for the WD-40.

Mine is duct tape. What a marvelous invention. And today, I'm proud to say that my vacuum cleaner is sucking like new. Oh don't let the sight of me driving around in my sassy little European sports car fool you. I'm wearing my fake diamond earrings, designer jeans that I bought from TJ Maxx and some drop dead gorgeous Jessica Simpson red patent leather heels that I bought on clearance for....hold on - $5.00!! The sole was coming apart just a tiny little bit (hey...they were $5.00) but thanks to the magic of duct tape - we're good to go!

The moral to this story? If it ain't broke....don't fix it...but if it is - DUCT IT!

There's an App for That

Isn't it ironic how many forms of communication are available...right at our fingertips? Need to learn a new language....say it with me now....'there's an app for that'. Need to know which species of poisonous frog is indigenous to the Amazon Rain Forrest so you can know for sure that the deep friend frog legs you just ordered from the new Cajun restaurant that you found via your new phone app are indeed....safe to eat? Yes...there's an app for that.

Thank goodness it's Friday. It's date night. My hubby and I will go out to our favorite Mexican Food restaurant and enjoy sitting together, munching on chips and salsa and drinking a margarita. We won't discuss how many calories are in the "Burrito Pablonito". We will, however, talk about how great life is. And we'll be talking to each other. No cell phones allowed on date night. No text messages, no instant messages, no urgent emails that need a reply ASAP.

And when we leave the restaurant we hold hands. Really. We'll drive towards home and, most likely, stop by and pick up some Ben & Jerry's because, well....it's Friday. We'll get home, change into our comfy-cozy (stretchy) veg-out clothes, eat our ice cream and feel way too full. We'll watch a movie and then make our way upstairs and call it a night. We'll crawl under the covers and snuggle up close. Need to remember why you married this guy in the first place? Yeah...there's an app for that. :-)

Earrings? No....Hat? Yes!

REALLY? How is it I can get in bed at night, lay my head on my pillow and only then realize that my earrings are still in my ear? Once that little stick that protrudes through the back of my ear stabs me in the neck I have to sit up, take them out, reach waaaaay over and put them on my night stand. Why can't I feel earrings in my ear? These are the deep mysteries of life that I ponder.

I have never - not once - gotten into bed and said...."DANG IT...I forgot to take my shoes off".

I have yet to step into the shower and say "SHOOT - I forgot to take my clothes off".

The exception, however, is getting into bed with my hat on. Apparently that's a good thing - according to Joe Cocker (all you old dudes sing along with me.....)

Your Can Leave Your Hat On
Baby take off your coat
Real slow
Take off your shoes
I'll take off your shoes
Baby take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes

You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on

Excuse me??

I've been MIA - I know. Life got crazy (none of you can relate, I'm sure). Let me correct that....Life IS crazy - otherwise, you are dead. And crazy does NOT equal 'bad' - it just implies change, challenge, decision, fun, friends, family (and if you are the 'crazy' in your family - well...someone has to be so just go with it!).

I recently went to see the movie 'Couple's Retreat' (I love me some Vince Vaughn). One of the greatest lines was when he said to his wife "we don't have a problem....we have a million problems. That's called life". (Excuse me #1 - if I didn't quote that verbatim but you get the gist). His point was that these so called 'problems' are just a part of discovering how you live life together. Cool.

Excuse me #2 (but read that as EXCUSE ME??)- Part of crazy life lately has been the flooding in the city where I live. Our basement took a hit and we had to rip out carpet and are now in the process of repairing the damage (part of the craziness that has caused me to be MIA).

So this guy comes to measure our basement for new carpet and we begin the casual chit-chat about how much damage the floods have done to so many people's homes and business. Then *BAM* - out of no where this guy says "I think it's a call to repentance".

A million thoughts began swimming though my flood-drenched brain as I stood there in total shock at the arrogance and judgment of this stranger who suddenly took the form of a televangelist waving his holier-than-thou words of condemnation.

I literally looked him square it the eye and said "EXCUSE ME?". But for that kind of thinking..no exuse!

Which way does it go?

So...what do you and YOUR mom argue about? Acceptable boyfriends/husbands? How tight is "tight"? Whether or not it's ok to bury your neighbor's body in the back yard?

My mom and and have a running disagreement about which way the toilet paper goes on the roll. Does the paper hang over the roll or under? In case you're wondering whose side to choose - I opt for the lovely, flowing swag effect of over the roll. If you want to side with her, fine.....I'll be happy to give your her phone number but let me warn you....she took my advice and did NOT bury her neighbor's body in the back yard.....and no one has seen hide nor hair of him in 7 years. I'm just sayin'.

Butt (ha...toilet humor) if someone wants to get me this little baby for Christmas or Ground Hog's Day or National Pancake Day I will hang it any way you say!

I showed my SIC and she asked if it's called an I-POT? And as she turned to walk away she said "but if you need to stay in the bathroom long enough to need a docking station for your iPod...you need more fiber. I'm just sayin'.....

Am I on candid camera?

So now I just feel like I'm in an endless cycle of karma. Remember the lizard in my bathroom? Then the post with all the random answers and the accompanying picture of a HORNY TOAD?

Well - you are NOT going to believe this but TODAY I found an actual horny toad. I just arrived in Colorado yesterday and hubby and I went for a walk in the woods today and there it was. The cutest little horny toad ever! I got to show my Yankee husband (no offense meant - it's just that he's skeptical about a lot of stories of my youth)that you really can stroke them between their horns and they fall right asleep! I haven't seen a horny toad in MANY years (don't get nosy and all up in my biz about my age....it's irrelevant - except when I thought I could still wear leggings then apparently it became relevant).

The law of attraction is working overtime for me.

And I mean no disrespect but for those of you who have just recently started following this blog, I will share with you that I wrote a blog months ago asking for the media to Ban Billy Before Breakfast. Said "Billy" was Billy Mays - the famed info-mercial screamer! It was all in jest and simply a reference to how I really wasn't ready for him before my coffee kicked in. Two days after I wrote that...he was dead.

I'm beginning to freak myself out and yet....I'm curious to see what will manifest itself next. If I wake up tomorrow and I'm 5'10" with a killer hot body and long red hair....I'm going to start playing the lottery!!

I WISH!

Uma Thurman I am not. I'm all of 5'2" for starters and that includes the poofy hair.

No....my poison ivy isn't nearly as sexy.

I'm actually thankful that fall weather is approaching so I can wear long sleeves and not look out of place...or guilty - like I did when I was in the 9th grade and wore a turtle neck to bed one sultry Texas summer night in hopes that my dad wouldn't see the **Kiss** mark on my neck. Gross. Parents...they're not very bright...or rarely suspicious of totally incriminating behavior. Or maybe they were just wise enough to not say anything and let me suffer my shame in pools of sweat.

But yeah....I really got poison ivy on my arms. Gross.

And the answer is....

I have SO much in my brain that I want to share but I feel that today is just a day to clear up some questions. The fact is - I was raised in the South (not that the rest of the country doesn't have manner and etiquette) and I was taught that it was impolite to not acknowledge someone when they speak to you. So I said "Yes ma'am", "No ma'am" and "yes sir" quite naturally. (Side note...I found it a bit difficult to say "No Sir" as much as I probably should have but that's another story. You know how it's just so hard to say NO when they.....well, enough about that. *wink wink*. Besides, I think my mom reads this blog.) Besides, I'm just kidding - no, I'm not...yes, I am.

Anyway - Several comments have been in the form of questions. But I read this book called "Blogging with Moxie" and it said that if you actually ANSWER someone's comment then it just lets everyone know you are new to Blogging. And so....I have refrained. And I feel just downright RUDE. Or as my FAVORITE 'girl from the hood', Bon Qui Qui says... "RU"!

**STOP - if you have never seen BON QUI QUI - click on that link NOW. Trust me....it will make your day!!**

So - here ya go:
(1) Yes....it was actually a real live chameleon in my bathroom. SO CUTE! But I wasn't afraid at all because I grew up playing with Horny Toads (see picture)- yes...that's what they were called. I didn't understand until about the 8th grade why boys would laugh when I said "Look...I caught a horny toad". And you could stroke their head right between those little horns and they would fall asleep. A lot of irony going on there now that I'm older and wiser.

(2). I have misunderstood the words to songs many times. Or just the meaning of the words as is referenced in a recent post - HERE. (But if you have to choose between reading an old post or watching Bon Qui Qui...watch Bon Qui Qui) ~ And the reason people don't tell you you're completely messing up the words is that they are RU (and laughing at us behind our backs). :-)

(3) I have strayed from 200+ years of fundamental, exclusionary, arrogant thinking. And I admitted that I didn't have 'total knowledge and understanding' but what I did have was a love for all humanity. I was forced to choose - so I chose Love. Am I at peace with my decision, you ask?? YES MA'AM!!!

FFF - Karma is in my bathroom

So yesterday I wrote about Karma and now a chameleon shows up in my bathroom. Confused? Then you are too young to remember Boy George unless, of course, you watched "The Wedding Singer" in which case you got to see a guy who imitated Boy George...and that was probably all anyone really needs to know about Boy George. Except that he was famous for a song called Karma Chameleon.

Coincidence?? You tell me!

A Girl Gone Astray

I guess I didn't really go 'astray' because D{dot}C gives this definition of the word 'astray': away from that which is right; into error, confusion, or undesirable action or thought . I strayed off the path that I had walked for much of my life where I had be taught the exclusive RIGHT WAY existed. This happened when I began to think for myself and say "HEY....that doesn't sound right".

No.....strayed isn't really an accurate description either. More like 'shoved off the side of the cliff next to the path I had been walking". Yeah...more like that.

Did you ever read the children's book "The Emperor's New Clothes"? I suppose exposing the NAKED TRUTH is a sure fire way to get "DAS BOOT". Ouch!

I know this is kind of a deep subject for a Thursday when my mind is thinking thoughts like "YEAH....The Office and 30 Rock come on tonight" but I saw this brilliant bumper sticker and I thought YES....that's what I'm talkin' about!!

To quote one of my favorite Hippies - I've been smiling lately, dreaming about the world as one. And I believe it could be someday it's going to come. ~ Cat Stevens

Go astray - you'll enjoy the journey a lot more!

What language do you speak?

I speak Movie - my native dialect is mainly "movie" but I picked up some TV slang along the way. Like "How You Doin'?"....I picked that up from Wendy Williams, whom I had never even heard of until I was watching "The Soup". I get my news from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and I get my Hollywood gossip fix from The Soup. Joel McHale from The Soup L-O-V-E-S to slam Wendy Williams relentlessly so I thought I would at least check out her show to see if she is, indeed, as bizarre as Joel makes her out to be. She is. And yet...I find myself slchlepping her suddenly famous phrase around all day.

"How you doin'?" I ask the my husband first thing in the morning. He looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language. The words he gets....the body move and the accent? Not so much. He makes no comment but assumes I'm speaking "Movie". And I don't bother to explain.

I tell him I've made our airline reservations for our trip next week. I ask 'what extra items do we need to pack for this trip'? He says, in his Al Pacino voice "take the gun, leave the cannoli". We have a few seconds of akward starring at which I point I realize....he also speaks 'movie'. All men speak 'Godfather'.

It's kind of sexy. So I 'make him an offer he can't refuse'. And we both speak THAT language quite fluently!

FFF - FAINT!

So my husband says to me....."Oh shoot - the nosey neighbors are here and want us to participate in the neighborhood beautification day.....I think that crazy chick with the bowl cut hair has a chain saw with my name on it. Quick, pretend like you've fainted."

Hey - we have a bear-skin rug!! Someone's getting lucky tonight....and it's not the dude starring through the window! Seriously....I've got to learn to shut the curtains!

Life is Uncertain.......

I think it's time for me to, as Ricky Ricardo said.... 'splain myself Lucy!

I believe the past has no power over the present.
I believe that "what you think about....comes about".
I believe you create your own reality.
I begin each day with a positive thought and a moment of gratitude.
I believe the Beatles were right when they said "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make".
I believe that giving truly is better than receiving (except for my birthday then I tend to forget that for about a week.)

So - for someone who is all about the 'power of positive thinking' and living in THIS PRESENT MOMENT....it might sound like the statement "Life is Uncertain" is kind of a downer, negative outlook.

To me it says "life each moment to the fullest". The only certainty any of us have is very moment we are living. So instead of living in the future...."when I've lost these 20 pounds then I'll allow myself to enjoy a tiny brownie"....."when I'm more established in my career then I'll have more free time to spend with my husband/wife/parents/children"....."when I'm rich then I'll be more giving"
Garth Brooks said it this way in the song "I Will Sail My Vessel"
Too many times we stand aside,
and let the water slip away.
And what we put off till tomorrow,
has now become today.
So don't you sit apon the shore line,
and say you're satisfied.
Choose the chance to rapids,
and dare to dance the tides.

So go ahead.....Eat a Brownie for your Breakfast!!