The Letter "B"

Today's feature..... The Letter "B"...as in Blond - Legally Blond that is!! I myself AM blond, legally but not naturally but please do NOT tell anyone. It would come as a complete shock to those who know and trust me. Maybe not...definitely not.

I will be attending the musical "Legally Blond" this coming Saturday evening at the beautiful Fox Theatre (see how I spelled 'theatre' so as to impress you with my artsiness? You are impressed, right?). We'll be in downtown Atlanta for a night of music and mayhem (and yes...someone else will be driving me there - read HERE for explanation...yes, I blog on this site too!).

I'm going because this was a Birthday present from my awesome family! "B" is also for Birthday!

Last and certainly most obvious - "B" is for Brownies! Always remember...."Life is uncertain...Eat Dessert First!" So if you're putting off that 'what if' idea or action - DON'T! Take that leap of faith, trust yourself and your instinct and DO IT now! And to that I say BOOYAH Baby!

Baby Gots New Shoes

I got me some HOT PINK and SILVER sassy Saucony running shoes. WoooooHoooo!! They look Mah-ve-lous!! And if I'm going to be forced to be healthy at certain times in my life...I should at least look good, yeah? Agree?? YES, you do. Don't lie and pretend that you are purely into fitness for fitness sake. We want to look good if we're walking to the end of our driveway to get the mail.

So - I decided to hike some trails that I'd never hiked before. Let me correct myself - my hubby and I set out to hike. Ok...I respect, admire, esteem.....etc. etc....my man more than any man on the planet. He is A-W-E-S-O-M-E. But - if lost, he upholds the standard of all men everywhere and will NOT ask for directions. Period.

What started out to be a nice morning one hour (TOPS) hike turned into a 7 mile hike. The new shoes did NOT come with GPS!! I had not eaten before we left the house.

I was weak, starving...losing sight....dizziness setting in.....As soon as we walked through the door - the Brownies beckoned and I heeded the call. Emergency stash saved my life!! And let this be a lesson to you all....Keep a First Aid Kit handy!!

Brought to you by the letter "A"

I grew up with Sesame Street and I guess I could attribute (BLAME) part of my love for the brownie on Cookie Monster. I mean, come on....I was a kid and my little pea brain was just mush. Ok...not much has changed apparently!!

Anyway - I'm going to use this opportunity to enrich and enlighten my incredibly vast audience. :-)

So today is brought to you by the letter "A".

"A" is for alter-ego. Everyone has one...yes you do, stop lying. And if you really don't, you should get one. They're AWESOME - which also starts with "A".

I got tired of being told “you can’t act like that in public” or “don’t say that out loud!” So… I bought a wig and a black lace strapless dress, some rhinestone studded sunglasses, a feather boa and, for the pièce de résistance, a black Stetson Cowboy hat and brought to life a sassy Southern Belle I affectionately call “Miss Peach” because, after all, I’m from Georgia by way of Texas and it just doesn’t get much more Southern than that. And guess what? Miss Peach could get away with almost anything.

I began to refer to her as my sister and blamed her for anything that wasn't "appropriate".

One time I took my sister on a weekend getaway with hubby only I didn’t tell him she would be coming along. When we were getting ready to “retire” for the evening he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he came out of the bathroom, I was gone and my sister was standing there in all her glory. Now, before we travel he asks “is your sister coming along?” If I say “not this time” it’s hard for me to tell if the look on his face is one of relief or regret.

"A" is for Alter-ego.

Next Monday - the letter "B". Be ready!!

My New BFF

I've gone from 'unfriended' on FB (I use abbreviations because I'm cool like that)to a new BFF (still cool).

While commenting on my friend's (girl #1)status update on FB I noticed another girl had also commented. I didn't know girl #2 but I liked what she was saying. So I posted yet another comment to the original post but it was directed at the mystery girl...girl #2. She, in turn, commented on the same post but it was clearly intended for me.

Soon my FB friend (aka girl #1) decides to jump in the conversation and says "You two should be friends"!! Request sent and FRIENDSHIP ACCEPTED!!

Oh the Karma of the Facebook Universe!

Killer Combo

I know you may find this hard to believe but I actually consider myself a HEALTHY eater and in pretty good shape (for the shape I'm in)!

I exercise regularly and love anything outdoorsy. I love to hike, play tennis, shop (yes...it's a sport - sometimes a full contact sport) and sunbathe (whatever...I sweat so it must be a sport).

I made a wonderful dinner for friends this weekend. They were my test-subjects (aka guinea pigs) as I tried two new recipes. Broiled talapia with peach-mango-avocado salsa (YUM) and an Island Shrimp Salad. They were duly impressed I must say.

But let me just say that when it comes to the 'Finer Things of Life' ....there is nothing finer than your good ol' double-fudge chunk brownie topped with Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Health Bar Crunch. Oh yes..... double chunk, double dipped and DOUBLE DELICIOUS!!

Squawking Heads

So....this happened to me FIVE minutes ago. But no chickens were harmed in the making of this chaotic scene.....

News Flash!! We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this important announcement......

Available NOW....Internet Webinars!! That's right...thanks to the wonders of modern technology people can collaborate via the internet with awesome cool interactive tools such as Web-ex. That is, of course, unless you have NO IDEA how Web-ex functions and 25 people call a conference bridge number and start YAKKING and SQUAWKING like a bunch of hens who just saw a wolf in the hen house! Suddenly everyone (at the same time) starts asking random questions and causing the moderator to panic and push his HOLD BUTTON at which point everyone hears nothing but his company 'on hold' commercial!!

Wow...someone please bring me a brownie!

A Girl's Best Friend.

You know how we say "Spanx...a girl's best friend"? Or..my favorite, of course, "Brownies...a girl's best friend." Hey...I can say that if I want to. And since I was officially 'unfriended' on YOU KNOW WHERE I'm one less friend so I'm due one. (I'm kind of boycotting the name because YOU KNOW WHO made an application where you can unfriend your friend. So there.)

But I can say with 100% certainty that 75% humidity is NOT my friend with or without YOU KNOW WHO'S confirmation or lack thereof. So there.

Give me the REMOTE!

Have I mentioned my hubby? I love him. He's the bestest EVER! He doesn't Twitter or have a Facebook profile (I may have to put him in the circus as the last man on earth to not be on Facebook). But since he isn't a virtual friend...we're just plain ol' best friends. I just love him. I'm repeating myself, aren't I?

So would it be so bad if I had to ask this one tiny, itty, bitty favor of him? GIVE ME THE DARN REMOTE OR NO MORE BROWNIES FOR YOU...and that's just the first item on the 'no more for you' list.

Oh My GOODNESS. Don't leave a girl hangin'! The suspense is killing me!!

I guess it's just girl curiosity but when he breezes by a channel and actually stops for more than three seconds, I become emotionally invested. I WANT TO KNOW! Can anyone relate to this scenario:

"The mystery has been solved that has eluded scientists for centuries thanks to the discovery of......" CLICK

"Hollywood was shocked today to learn that............" CLICK

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement........." CLICK!!!

Seriously....just hand it over and no one will get hurt.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

If I can't have a Brownie then make it a Margarita

If you've read this before you'll agree that it bears repeating. Pardon me while I plagiarize (that sounds like a great book title....and if you use it then I may have to sue you for plagiarism!).

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.

Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.

Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

CAUTION - Side effects may include:

Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration dry mouth and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare and Naked Twister.

Now pass the proverbial grain of salt and let's get this party started!!

Hubby goes Healthy! Gag!

I am all for healthy living but now my guy has decided he wants his Ph level balanced (sadly he's not referring to the pool). He's been reading.....again. And now I have to be inconvenienced because he has learned that high acidity levels lead to all types of illnesses. What does this mean for me??

Sneaking and hiding. I hate to resort to this type of deception but I figure it's for his own good. Apparently some of the ingredients in brownies don't fit into this new lifestyle.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! And right now....I have to figure out a way to get the smell of fresh baked chocolate heaven out of the kitchen before he gets home!

UNFRIENDED!!

It's a cruel world out there. And it can't get that way much quicker these days. One minute you have a 'friend" and then with a simple click of a keyboard button....BAM...."UNFRIENDED".

Back in the good ol' days we had girl cliques and people knew who your friends were. The lines were clearly drawn. And...if one of the 'cliquees' got her panties in a wad, there was protocol and a definite chain of events that went into redefining those lines. Most often it was over an all important issue like....well, a conversation such as this:

Cliquee #1: "Hey.....you know how we're the coolest clique at school and how it's so great that we're all best friends and we can tell each other anything?"

Cliquee #2 : "Yeah....I love everyone! We're the bestest friends EVER!"

Cliquee #1: "Well, you know how funny "Jessica" is (names have been changed to protect the ignorant...I mean, innocent)?

Cliquee #2: "Yeah....she's so funny. She makes me laugh. I love it when she laughs".

Cliquee #1: "Well....now I could be totally wrong but......I'm pretty saw her looking at your boyfriend. I'm not saying he looked back and....well, I don't know...I'm sure it was nothing. I'm just saying ....well, you know you're my best friend and if someone was looking at my boyfriend then I'd want you to tell me. You'd tell me, right? "

Cliquee #2: "What was she wearing? She always wears 'those kind' of clothes. Was she twirling her hair when she was looking at him? She always twirls her hair! Did she do that stupid giggle? OH...I hate that giggle. I'm never speaking to her again!"

Cliquee #1: Yeah...I think she was twirling her hair. YEAH.....she was giggling...she always giggles. She thinks she's so funny! Who does she think she is? I hate her stupid clothes.

Clilquee #2: "We should write notes in class and then pass then to all our REAL friends and then we'll ignore Jessica at lunch. And then everyone will ask us why we're not talking and pretty soon the whole school will be talking about us all and we'll be MORE popular than ever!

JESSICA: Hey y'all!!

Cliquee #1 and #2: "Hey Jessica. Love your shoes!!! OMG...your hair is so FABULOUS!

Cliquee #2: I love Jessica.

Cliquee #1: Yeah....she's the best.

Cliquee #2: Hey.....isn't that your boyfriend with Jessica?

Protocol my 'friends'.....what happened to go old fashioned gossip and classic unfriending?

Oh look.....I have a new Facebook friend! She lives in Idaho?? I don't know anyone in Idaho. Oh well - MORE FRIENDS, MORE FRIENDS, MORE FRIENDS!! We're the bestest EVER!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to poke her and then toss a virtual Brownie at her. I love friends. :-)

Cut off your Nose to Spite your Face

This has got to be one of the most 'interesting' posts I've seen on Facebook in a while....

From Fox News 5/31/09...CAIRO — "A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday." Wow, makes me think of cutting off my nose to spite my face in somewhat of a new light...

And his wife's comment???
Don't get any idea's!!

I don't even know how to add to that. Someone needs a brownie!

I Caved and took the Facebook Challenge

So...here's the deal. I'm kind of a big deal - well, at least I am on my nifty vision board. I run a major organization that reaches to the far corners of the globe - at least that's what my Google Analytics say. Pretty impressive, don't you think, that people in China and Australia are reading my blog....did I say blog...I mean my amazing web based empire.

My point is.....I stopped all my very important business-woman duties this morning and took a "How well do you know me" test on Facebook this morning. And the "me" in this particular test was one of my best friends of many years - a real friend, not just a virtual friend who keeps throwing things at me or wants me to confess to being one of their relatives. Who are these people? Anyway - a no-brainer quiz I figured and because I've been too busy saving the planet these past few months, I haven't spent much time on the social scene with her (or anyone else for that matter) so this little test was meant to redeem my neglect of my friend since my time is so very valuable and, need I remind you...I'm kind of a big deal and I have the tee-shirt to prove it. No I don't. :-(

I scored a 41%!!! I don't even know her HALF WAY!!!

Looks like little Miss "I'm too busy to stop and smell the roses much less meet my friend for coffee" needs to remember what the word 'friend' really means. I think I'll bake her a pan of brownies. And I might even share them with her. :-)

A Day Without Facebook

Yesterday was travel day. Get up early in Colorado, finish packing, check early morning email, hop in the car, drive an hour to the airport....sit in the airport for three hours because, as everyone knows, it's better to be way early than late (that tip of the day does NOT come from my book of philosophy!), board plane and sit yet another 3 hours. I'll start a new sentence here just for the fun of it.....land at Atlanta airport, stand at baggage claim and play 'which black suitcase is mine' for 20 minutes, drive another hour home. (FYI...my mom had made us a welcome home pan of brownies....I am not kidding!).

The two hour time difference seemed to have vanish in the time warp of travel day (see I changed the color to green so you would understand what that whacky picture is all about....I'm not sure I trust my vitual friends to figure that out....except for one and when you finish reading this you'll know who I mean). So, I was tired regardless of what time my body thought it was. But not too tired that my Facebook OCD would let me just go on to bed without checking in on what I had missed in my virtual world of friends.

Thank goodness for the ability to see older posts or I could have possibly gone the rest of my life without critical information like....one of my friends discovered that she was most like the 80's TV character Punky Brewster. WHO KNEW? Additionally I learned that a friend has an IQ of 130. One friend was thankful for Karaoke and finally, I'm not sure I can even grasp the thought that I almost missed knowing that one friend just picked up some tickets for a baseball game.

Surprisingly, however, there were no strings of conversation questioning my whereabouts. Hmmm....seems that live goes on even when I'm not around to monitor it. I guess that's good to know. Oh wait...someone in New York just welcomed me home. Ahhhh.....it's good to be back among 'friends'.

I Kid You NOT!

Each day I receive a 'personal' message from the Universe. Ok...I subscribed to one of those "thoughts of the day" about 2 years ago and truthfully, I look forward to reading them every day. So, tell me this isn't Karma or the law of attraction. This is what I received today:

Dreams create their own pathways, if you don't try to force things.

Taking action summons miracles, whether you recognize them or not.

And, it's never too late in the day for breakfast.

Dream on, wild thing -
The Universe

HELLO? Never too late for breakfast!! Excuse me but I have officially been granted permission from the Universe. And as fate would have it.....there's one brownie left in the pan. Coincidence? I think not.

Life - it's all about balance

I love visiting my sister in law. She's always happy, she's always up for adventure, she lets me win at Wii tennis and she always cooks and bakes like we're royalty. So, in order to not hurt her feelings....I force myself to eat what she's so lovingly prepared. Yeah....I'm just that kind of girl.

She lives in the Black Forest of Colorado ...not like she actually lives out in the wild - she may be Super-Sister but she still wants her blow dryer and hot tub. But, the scenery is indescribably breath-taking and there are hiking trails a stone's throw from her house. And this girl can hike like nobody's business. I like to think I'm in pretty good shape (for the shape I'm in) but I have to put the legs in overdrive to keep up. Not to mention there's NO OXYGEN in the mile-high state!

An hour and a half later....we return from our 'walk' - which is not like any 'walk' you might typically take. SO...at this point I am famished. I know, Alanis Morisette would not appreciate my use of that word. At the very least...I was carb-deficient. So when I looked on the cabinet and saw the remainder of the home-made cinnamon rolls (no, I'm not kidding...home-made) I figured I had sufficiently burned off last night's calories and earned the right to eat one....ok, another one. But, after all, isn't life really all about balance?

He may be a pirate but he's just like me!

Have you ever just have an AHA moment when all the Universe suddenly made sense? I usually pride myself in not following the crowd but when it comes to Johnny Depp....I'm right there with the millions of other girls who have him on their "list" - yeah....you know what list I'm talking about. And don't judge me there either - you've got one and you know it.

But then the music stopped...the lights came on and right before my eyes - well, not right before because, truth be known, they were closed so shampoo didn't get in them...where was I? Oh yeah....right before my eyes the picture became clear. I'm attracted to Johnny Depp because he and I share a love of CHOCOLATE. Really? Yes really. Hear me out....

Chocolat - no explanation needed.
Willy Wonka and the CHOCOLATE Factory - pretty obvious.
Pirates of the Caribbean - What do you think was really in that treasure chest? You know because you've probably eaten them.....gold covered nuggets of....chocolate.
Ta-da!! I win.

My hubby doesn't mind that I have this little infatuation....not the chocolate one....the Johnny Depp one. Fact is, sometimes I think he likes to pretend he's a pirate himself because I often hear him say ... surrender the booty! I guess he's craving some chocolate. *wink wink* :-)

I think a Spider bit me!

That's the truth. I was sitting on the couch enjoying my first cup of coffee when BAM...I felt this pain in my leg. Naturally, Ireached to touch it and OUCH...that hurt!! I had my silky pj bottoms on - but here's the truth....it's too hot to sleep in them so I just laid them on the floor by my bed before I fell asleep so I had easy access for when I got up. SO....back to the OUCH. I suddenly had this horrible image that a spider had crawled into my silky pj pants (do you get the sense that I'm making sure you understand that my pjs are not flannel - because, apparently that's important that you know).

My husband assured me it was NOT a spider and that I probably wasn't going to die today - at least that's not what my horoscope said.

So...you know me...I decided to experiement with my Facebook friends. Here's what I posted:

"I think a SPIDER bit me! Seriously - it hurts like crazy and I have to catch a flight later today. This is such an inconvenience."

How many 'friends' do you think commented on this potentially life threatening incident?? ONE!! And it was very sarcastic at that.

Need I remind you how many people commented on those stupid brownies?? Too many to count!!

Friends?? Really?? Thanks guys.
Wait....fingers going numb....vision fading......craving for chocolate.....Out - of - Control!!

Shhhh....My Secret Stash

I know I can't keep talking about these crazy Brownies for the rest of my life but let's just confess right here that we all have some secrets. Am I right or am I right?

I have a secret stash....of, wait...you'll never guess....BROWNIES!! OMG I am so addicted to these little guys. But do I really need to hide them? Who a I hiding them from? I just publically confessed last week that I ate brownies for breakfast. That pretty much lets the cat out of the bag, don't ya think?

And this is my point about Facebook. We share what we think are intimate parts of our life - maybe even things we consider secret - with total reckless abandom.

Guy posts: "I am listening to Dave Matthews instead of working."
Friend comments: "Yeah.....it's too nice of a day to actually work."

Girl posts: "I just bought a pair of $300 shoes...."
Friend comments: Oh dear.....better hide them before you know who gets home.

I'm just sayin'......well, I think we're ALL Just Sayin'.

Facebook = Internet Chocolate

AHA!! I'm beginning to understand the phenomenon of Facebook. This addiction can only be understood if one understands the craving and chemistry of.....chocolate. (The craving for some Johnny Depp is a separate subject altogether and you should mind your own business!)

Why do we love chocolate? Sure - there's the obvious. It's DELICIOUS! (that was my Kosmo Kramer impression in case you didn't catch it). We've learned recently that it's actually good for us because of those powerful Flavanoids and antioxidants (whatever excuse you need, right?). We also equate chocolate with love (ahhhhh).

But here's the real reason.....opioids. Chocolate contains chemicals called opioids. Opioids are also found in opium, and they serve to dull pain and give a feeling of well-being to people who ingest them. According to a study, people who eat chocolate produce natural opiates in their brains that soothe their nerves and make them feel good.

Still with me? How, you may be wondering, does chocolate correlate at all to Facebook?

Accoring to Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963) he says this about Opioids:

"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise."

It is our need to absolish our solitude as individuals and atone us with our fellows (aka 'friends'...even virtual friends as it may be). A Facebook Fix! That's not such a bad craving or.....addiction, is it? So there you have it....Facebook must contain the same mind altering, pain-dulling, sense of well-being, love feeling inducing ingredients as....yep, chocolate.

I'm feeling a little solitary right now - I think I hear those brownies calling my name.