Sunday, August 30, 2009
I love to walk in crowded places and 'size people up'. **Correction - I USED to.** My best friend and I did this when we were walking through the mall. She and I played this game (which now reminds me that (a) I was pretty naive and (b) I had way too much free time on my hands). It was called "I can name that person's profession in less than 5 seconds just by looking at them".
"Ooohhh - school teacher!"
"Oh yeah....definitely a lawyer."
"Hooker....dressed like a suburban housewife. I'm not fooled."
If they were really pretty, well dressed women (especially if they were wearing a tennis outfit while walking through the mall) - they definitely got tagged as Hooker!
Don't pretend you haven't played this game!!
Some people just dress 'funny'....which reminds me of a joke - here goes:
"Why don't cannibals eat clowns?"
"Because they taste funny!" -
Why aren't you laughing? It's FUNNY!
So - here's a picture of me and some of my girlfriends making fun of the way other people dress. Yea....we were looking pretty good that day, don't you agree?
WHAT?? We look like.....WHAT??
That's SO not funny!! :-)
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Where's my frickin' medal? If someone, who is NOT a 'morning' person (yes....I have the tee shirt), gets out of bed before sunrise without the threat of bodily harm and then willingly (but not enthusiastically, mind you) goes and climbs 1.4 MILES up a mountain then that person deserves an award!!!
I don't have "G"! Click on the "G" if you need an explanation!
So I sipped my coffee while my mountain lovin' hubby drove us over to the scene of the crime (aka Stone Mountain). Blurry eyed, I begin my trek. I decided to give my feet a break and walk on the dirt path up said mountain instead of on the hard rock. It's more nature-y walking through the trees. I'm actually in the 'zone', feeling all sportsy-like. The air is still cool because the sun isn't fully up yet. Then BAM - I run face first into a spider web. So much for my zone.
My 'oh so clever' hubby says "So, you found a new website?" I should have knocked him on his Gluteus Maximus....but I didn't have "G"!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
If I had tried to write something more entertaining myself I couldn't have....yes I could - stop taunting me!! I'll show YOU....later. But for now - read this and then think long and hard about taking your hubby or boyfriend or BROTHER (yeah...this is SO my brother) shopping with you!!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Forgive me? I was on an airplane Friday - please don't leave me just because I stood you up this once.
We got home late Friday and came home to water disaster - as in flooded basement. But Stanley Steamer came to the rescue. Oh woe is me.....now wait, WHOA is me - as in STOP the WHINING AND EXCUSES and get on with an explanation of this fantastic picture!
My S.I.C. and I were making dinner and she actually let me use the big girl knife!! But I had already sampled the pan of brownies with extra chocolate chips sprinkled in so I think she assumed it was safe. Anyway - this is what I saw when I cut open the Red Pepper!! Isn't it awesome?? I took a picture just in case Rob Zombie wants to use it in a new horror movie. My phone hasn't rung yet but you never know.
Is it odd that I want to give it a name? Any suggestions??
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Have you ever been singing along with a great song on the radio - you even have most of the words right - but you really have no idea what it's really about? YES YOU HAVE!!
I've been singing "Viva la Vida" by Cold Play for months now just SURE that it was all about Elvis Presley - how he used to be "King" and "I used to roll the dice" (which sounded like a perfect tie in to Viva Las Vegas)...etc, etc. It made perfect since....well, most of it anyway....except the part that made NO SENSE.
Lyrics (dot com). AHA - "Roman Cavalry choirs are singing"....WHAT??
My old friend Google beckoned me... "ASK ME ANYTHING and I'LL TELL YOU THE ANSWER". So I said "OK - FINE....what does it MEAN??"
Turns out it has nothing to do with Elvis. I feel betrayed. *sigh*
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I'm 5'2" and that's with my Texas hair - he's 6'5". We get "looks" when we walk through the mall...which is rare because hubby hates to shop!! But we are a sight and people ask strange questions - well, they never really come out and ask but they certainly imply that they are wondering. I just stop them and say...."we're the same height laying down". As Ron White says (the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guy - the irreverent one) "that'll shut 'er up"!
There are several advantages to being married to a tall guy....I don't have to keep a step stool in the kitchen, he can clean the ceiling fans without standing on a chair and we are pretty awesome at volleyball. Ok - he's awesome but I have a pretty good serve - alright fine....it's not all that great but WHATEVER! But - I discovered that his height is not always a blessing - at least not to ME because I had NO IDEA what was on the top of my refrigerator!! Do you know what's on top of yours? Let me tell you....if you haven't looked in over a year, well, I'll just say that if hubby and I are coming over to your house - I'll give you fair warning!
Monday, August 17, 2009
You can learn alot about people you thought you knew SO WELL by playing a game of cards. Now I'm not saying I was doing the cheating....or that my partner was giving me signals.....or that our opponents were acting like they were innocent themselves when, in fact, they were doing the subtle head nod...I'm just sayin' - it was an evening of revelation.
Then the pizza arrived. And life was good....for a while.
Then I made a HUGE miscalculation. It was at a most climactic point in the game...the tensions were high.....and I couldn't decide which card to discard. Then I made this announcement ... "give me a minute....I'm thinking". Let's just say that phrase was used against me several times over the next days because I made the mother of all bad choices in my discard selection.
And then I laughed and said "HEY...it's just a card game". Thank goodness there was not a plank for me to walk or I would not be here sharing this funny little story with you today. But there was still pizza so all turned out ok......this time. :-)
Monday, August 10, 2009
WARNING!!! What you are about to read is TRUE! This is not a story for the weak of stomach or those who frequent eating establishments where the wait staff wears curlers in her hair.
My Sis in Crime's husband was eating lunch with a guy who wanted to go to a certain 'restaurant' (I say that quite loosely) which will remain unnamed because I may be blonde (pink is GONE) and I may be southern but I AIN'T STOOPID!!
My brother-in-law has exquisite tastes in dining and just the idea that he was even at this place amazes me. So...he orders chocolate milk (although I'm sure many of the regular clientele probably order beer for breakfast). The waitress brings his glass of chocolate milk and it's obvious some had run down the side of the glass. Whatever! He takes a drink and almost GAGS - it's obviously sour.
He calls the waitress over and politely says "I believe this milk has gone sour". She says........(YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS SO SIT DOWN!).....
"Yeah....I thought it smelled bad when I tasted it but I couldn't really tell since I have such a bad cold"!!
I just dare you to top that one!!
Friday, August 7, 2009
You know what that means!! And if you don't....well, make up your own title! See? We're already off to a FUN FRIDAY!
So, as if I needed an excuse to NOT cook, this little beauty showed up on our daily TV horoscope....and yea, I took a picture!
Funny how Mr. Hubby and I always check out the horoscope (right after we watch The Weather Channel and make fun of how they can be wrong on the forecast time after time and still keep their jobs). We only started this horoscope kick a few months ago when he accidentally pressed some button on the Dish TV remote and found it. And each time we laugh about how insane the stuff they come up with is but then when this one showed up.....I figured the stars had absolutely lined up perfectly just for me and that, indeed, this one was a keeper/believer!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
So - where have I been all week? Getting ready to be away from home for 2 1/2 weeks. And now....I'm here - in my temporary home which is in Colorado and it's just beautiful. BUT...that's not the point.
The day we are to leave - I decide that my hair (*sigh*) need a little trim. I just didn't have any time to go to my FAB hairdresser because I was doing - well, all those last minute things. But let me back up and tell you why I needed to trim a little.
I bought this new product that is supposed to just smooth out your hair leaving it silky and sexy (well....in my mind that's what I envisioned). So I put some on and then I used my flat iron and suddenly MY HAIR WAS PINK!! I missed this lesson in chemistry class where "product X" + Heat = PINK!
I love Pink - both the color and the singer. I like the singer because she's just real - just who she is ...except for the pink hair which NO ONE is...naturally!
Scissors in hand, I start chopping. And now...I'm here in Colorado with my Sister-in-Crimes' hair dresser's number in hand getting ready to have to tell this story to her. Or....maybe I'll just keep the pink punk rock look. It is kind of cool! :-)
Monday, August 3, 2009
First of all I want to just say THANK YOU so much for all the kind comments after my Dia de la Funk. Perhaps I should mark it on the calendar so I'll know it's coming next year. Darn sun spots.
So my husband and I were eating dinner and watching Andy Griffith. We're just wild & crazy like that. I made a Fabu-licious pork roast and some sweet green peas. I love peas. But there's art to eating peas with your fork and for some reason, I was more of a starving artist last night.
Even Jerry Seinfeld worked the 'perils of peas' into one of his shows. He broke up with a girl (in TV land) for eating peas with her fork one at a time.
Suddenly it just cracked me up. Peas are just a funny little vegetable and whoever first discovered them must have had a heck of a time trying to show friends and family how to eat them.
Any way.... I realized how insignificant peas are in the grand scheme and how this funny little green ball, rolling off my fork, made me think how equally small so many things are that we imagine to be huge problems. So instead of trying to pile the peas up on my fork - I took just a few at a time, ate them slowly and actually enjoyed my dinner more.
Today - I decided to let those nagging little 'issues' roll right off my brain just like the peas rolled of my fork. Wow - I'm not sure even Plato or Socrates had this kind of amazing wisdom. Sweet...like peas!
It's Monday and typically I'm READY TO GO!! I love my work and am usually bubbling over with ideas and energy because I've taken a day or so to relax - which is not entirely true because my body is like that little non-stop Tazmanian Devil cartoon from way back when. I'm one of those 'can't sit still' kinda girls and even when I turn my computer off and am lying on a float in the middle of the pool....my mind is still going 100 miles an hour.
But this weekend was.....funky. I promise that won't be next week's "F" word. :-)
Seems like there was just some kind of negative mojo floating around that sucked all the fun out of me. Friends were having 'issues' and I just decided to let all of that sort of pile up on my head and carry it ALL around for a while because I love these people and it hurts me to see them hurt. Then, I couldn't fall asleep because all of these things kept playing in my head like a broken record. Aye ya ya!
Maybe today would be a good day to try Red Bull!