Cut off your Nose to Spite your Face

This has got to be one of the most 'interesting' posts I've seen on Facebook in a while....

From Fox News 5/31/09...CAIRO — "A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday." Wow, makes me think of cutting off my nose to spite my face in somewhat of a new light...

And his wife's comment???
Don't get any idea's!!

I don't even know how to add to that. Someone needs a brownie!

I Caved and took the Facebook Challenge

So...here's the deal. I'm kind of a big deal - well, at least I am on my nifty vision board. I run a major organization that reaches to the far corners of the globe - at least that's what my Google Analytics say. Pretty impressive, don't you think, that people in China and Australia are reading my blog....did I say blog...I mean my amazing web based empire.

My point is.....I stopped all my very important business-woman duties this morning and took a "How well do you know me" test on Facebook this morning. And the "me" in this particular test was one of my best friends of many years - a real friend, not just a virtual friend who keeps throwing things at me or wants me to confess to being one of their relatives. Who are these people? Anyway - a no-brainer quiz I figured and because I've been too busy saving the planet these past few months, I haven't spent much time on the social scene with her (or anyone else for that matter) so this little test was meant to redeem my neglect of my friend since my time is so very valuable and, need I remind you...I'm kind of a big deal and I have the tee-shirt to prove it. No I don't. :-(

I scored a 41%!!! I don't even know her HALF WAY!!!

Looks like little Miss "I'm too busy to stop and smell the roses much less meet my friend for coffee" needs to remember what the word 'friend' really means. I think I'll bake her a pan of brownies. And I might even share them with her. :-)

A Day Without Facebook

Yesterday was travel day. Get up early in Colorado, finish packing, check early morning email, hop in the car, drive an hour to the airport....sit in the airport for three hours because, as everyone knows, it's better to be way early than late (that tip of the day does NOT come from my book of philosophy!), board plane and sit yet another 3 hours. I'll start a new sentence here just for the fun of it.....land at Atlanta airport, stand at baggage claim and play 'which black suitcase is mine' for 20 minutes, drive another hour home. (FYI...my mom had made us a welcome home pan of brownies....I am not kidding!).

The two hour time difference seemed to have vanish in the time warp of travel day (see I changed the color to green so you would understand what that whacky picture is all about....I'm not sure I trust my vitual friends to figure that out....except for one and when you finish reading this you'll know who I mean). So, I was tired regardless of what time my body thought it was. But not too tired that my Facebook OCD would let me just go on to bed without checking in on what I had missed in my virtual world of friends.

Thank goodness for the ability to see older posts or I could have possibly gone the rest of my life without critical information like....one of my friends discovered that she was most like the 80's TV character Punky Brewster. WHO KNEW? Additionally I learned that a friend has an IQ of 130. One friend was thankful for Karaoke and finally, I'm not sure I can even grasp the thought that I almost missed knowing that one friend just picked up some tickets for a baseball game.

Surprisingly, however, there were no strings of conversation questioning my whereabouts. Hmmm....seems that live goes on even when I'm not around to monitor it. I guess that's good to know. Oh wait...someone in New York just welcomed me home. Ahhhh.....it's good to be back among 'friends'.

I Kid You NOT!

Each day I receive a 'personal' message from the Universe. Ok...I subscribed to one of those "thoughts of the day" about 2 years ago and truthfully, I look forward to reading them every day. So, tell me this isn't Karma or the law of attraction. This is what I received today:

Dreams create their own pathways, if you don't try to force things.

Taking action summons miracles, whether you recognize them or not.

And, it's never too late in the day for breakfast.

Dream on, wild thing -
The Universe

HELLO? Never too late for breakfast!! Excuse me but I have officially been granted permission from the Universe. And as fate would have it.....there's one brownie left in the pan. Coincidence? I think not.

Life - it's all about balance

I love visiting my sister in law. She's always happy, she's always up for adventure, she lets me win at Wii tennis and she always cooks and bakes like we're royalty. So, in order to not hurt her feelings....I force myself to eat what she's so lovingly prepared. Yeah....I'm just that kind of girl.

She lives in the Black Forest of Colorado ...not like she actually lives out in the wild - she may be Super-Sister but she still wants her blow dryer and hot tub. But, the scenery is indescribably breath-taking and there are hiking trails a stone's throw from her house. And this girl can hike like nobody's business. I like to think I'm in pretty good shape (for the shape I'm in) but I have to put the legs in overdrive to keep up. Not to mention there's NO OXYGEN in the mile-high state!

An hour and a half later....we return from our 'walk' - which is not like any 'walk' you might typically take. SO...at this point I am famished. I know, Alanis Morisette would not appreciate my use of that word. At the very least...I was carb-deficient. So when I looked on the cabinet and saw the remainder of the home-made cinnamon rolls (no, I'm not kidding...home-made) I figured I had sufficiently burned off last night's calories and earned the right to eat one....ok, another one. But, after all, isn't life really all about balance?

He may be a pirate but he's just like me!

Have you ever just have an AHA moment when all the Universe suddenly made sense? I usually pride myself in not following the crowd but when it comes to Johnny Depp....I'm right there with the millions of other girls who have him on their "list" - yeah....you know what list I'm talking about. And don't judge me there either - you've got one and you know it.

But then the music stopped...the lights came on and right before my eyes - well, not right before because, truth be known, they were closed so shampoo didn't get in them...where was I? Oh yeah....right before my eyes the picture became clear. I'm attracted to Johnny Depp because he and I share a love of CHOCOLATE. Really? Yes really. Hear me out....

Chocolat - no explanation needed.
Willy Wonka and the CHOCOLATE Factory - pretty obvious.
Pirates of the Caribbean - What do you think was really in that treasure chest? You know because you've probably eaten them.....gold covered nuggets of....chocolate.
Ta-da!! I win.

My hubby doesn't mind that I have this little infatuation....not the chocolate one....the Johnny Depp one. Fact is, sometimes I think he likes to pretend he's a pirate himself because I often hear him say ... surrender the booty! I guess he's craving some chocolate. *wink wink* :-)

It helps to know what airline you're flying on when you go to check in!

Ok - here's one for ya! Have you ever gone to check in at the airport only to discover that the airline you thought you were flying on was, in fact, NOT?

My husband and I have done an unusual amount of travel lately and I am the resident travel agent. And....I never have to 'roam alone' thanks to that little Expedia Gnome who has won all my business with his adorable accent and sense of adventure. So, anyway, we went up to the check in counter with all of our suitcases and ID only to be told "we don't have a reservation for you".

Can you say PANIC!! My mind began to imagine that I had the wrong date....or the wrong time or...I don't know what all I thought but what I did know was that I had brought no form of documentation telling me what the facts were. My husband....well, he was 'concerned' as in "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" Then we actually both started laughing.

Thank goodness I had emailed our itenerary to friends who were picking us up at our destination. So we called and had to ask "uh.....what airline are we coming in on?" At that point our friend was laughing hysterically, we start laughing at ourselves again and disaster was averted.

And a true friend knows that when you've had a day like this that the best thing to have waiting when you get where you're going is a plate of warm chocolate cookies (which are equally as effective as brownies). That's what real friends do!! :-)

I think a Spider bit me!

That's the truth. I was sitting on the couch enjoying my first cup of coffee when BAM...I felt this pain in my leg. Naturally, Ireached to touch it and OUCH...that hurt!! I had my silky pj bottoms on - but here's the truth....it's too hot to sleep in them so I just laid them on the floor by my bed before I fell asleep so I had easy access for when I got up. SO....back to the OUCH. I suddenly had this horrible image that a spider had crawled into my silky pj pants (do you get the sense that I'm making sure you understand that my pjs are not flannel - because, apparently that's important that you know).

My husband assured me it was NOT a spider and that I probably wasn't going to die today - at least that's not what my horoscope said.

So...you know me...I decided to experiement with my Facebook friends. Here's what I posted:

"I think a SPIDER bit me! Seriously - it hurts like crazy and I have to catch a flight later today. This is such an inconvenience."

How many 'friends' do you think commented on this potentially life threatening incident?? ONE!! And it was very sarcastic at that.

Need I remind you how many people commented on those stupid brownies?? Too many to count!!

Friends?? Really?? Thanks guys.
Wait....fingers going numb....vision fading......craving for chocolate.....Out - of - Control!!

Shhhh....My Secret Stash

I know I can't keep talking about these crazy Brownies for the rest of my life but let's just confess right here that we all have some secrets. Am I right or am I right?

I have a secret stash....of, wait...you'll never guess....BROWNIES!! OMG I am so addicted to these little guys. But do I really need to hide them? Who a I hiding them from? I just publically confessed last week that I ate brownies for breakfast. That pretty much lets the cat out of the bag, don't ya think?

And this is my point about Facebook. We share what we think are intimate parts of our life - maybe even things we consider secret - with total reckless abandom.

Guy posts: "I am listening to Dave Matthews instead of working."
Friend comments: "Yeah.....it's too nice of a day to actually work."

Girl posts: "I just bought a pair of $300 shoes...."
Friend comments: Oh dear.....better hide them before you know who gets home.

I'm just sayin'......well, I think we're ALL Just Sayin'.

Facebook = Internet Chocolate

AHA!! I'm beginning to understand the phenomenon of Facebook. This addiction can only be understood if one understands the craving and chemistry of.....chocolate. (The craving for some Johnny Depp is a separate subject altogether and you should mind your own business!)

Why do we love chocolate? Sure - there's the obvious. It's DELICIOUS! (that was my Kosmo Kramer impression in case you didn't catch it). We've learned recently that it's actually good for us because of those powerful Flavanoids and antioxidants (whatever excuse you need, right?). We also equate chocolate with love (ahhhhh).

But here's the real reason.....opioids. Chocolate contains chemicals called opioids. Opioids are also found in opium, and they serve to dull pain and give a feeling of well-being to people who ingest them. According to a study, people who eat chocolate produce natural opiates in their brains that soothe their nerves and make them feel good.

Still with me? How, you may be wondering, does chocolate correlate at all to Facebook?

Accoring to Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963) he says this about Opioids:

"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise."

It is our need to absolish our solitude as individuals and atone us with our fellows (aka 'friends'...even virtual friends as it may be). A Facebook Fix! That's not such a bad craving or.....addiction, is it? So there you have it....Facebook must contain the same mind altering, pain-dulling, sense of well-being, love feeling inducing ingredients as....yep, chocolate.

I'm feeling a little solitary right now - I think I hear those brownies calling my name.

What, exactly, is a 'Confession'

Need to know what a word really means? Ahhh...dictionary (dot com, of course....why walk all the way over the book case where my 1979 Websters is sitting and actually flip page after page when I can point and click? Lazy...yeah, probably). So here goes ..Confession:

1.	to acknowledge or avow (a fault, crime, misdeed, weakness, etc.) by way of revelation.

2.	to own or admit as true: I must confess that I haven't read the book.

3.	to declare or acknowledge (one's sins), esp. to God or a priest in order to obtain absolution.

4.	(of a priest) to hear the confession of (a person).

5.	to acknowledge one's belief or faith in; declare adherence to.

6.	to reveal by circumstances.

It's that last one that I find most intriguing....to reveal by circumstance. So when someone updates their Facebook status by saying "I've been asked to write a column for a newspaper about ______ but the only stipulation is that I don't cuss" do all 534 people in your network understand that this is a JOKE because that's the last thing you would EVER do (uh...hem) or do the innocent bystanders think "wow...he's got a problem!"?

I like brownies but I don't typically eat them for breakfast. But when I decided to share that confession on Facebook a virtually feeding frenzy ensued. A Feeding Frenzy I tell ya!

Frenzy: a fit or spell of violent mental excitement; a paroxysm characteristic of or resulting from a mania

Mania: excessive excitement or enthusiasm

I guess I got a little excited about my Brownies....don't you agree? If so.....you should comment!

I'm going to share a Brownie with Dr. House

I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV although I have been known to dress up like a nurse at times (nope...no details on that little confession...and don't judge me....you know you have too!). But if I were (was? were? help me Miss Grammer) a doctor, I think I would be a psychiatrist - but one like Dr. House (is he hot or what - I mean, brilliant). House looks beyond the obvious to find that hidden mystery. And that's what I would do with Facebook because, face it, if you're a psychiatrist looking for a group to study then the Facebook community is the Holy Grail.

Facebook is the only place where you can 'friend' a total stranger and immediately begin sharing intimate details of your private life. You can be 'poked' by an old friend and not feel violated. You can publically wish a brand new friend, who just updated her status by sharing that she's boarding a plane at that very moment, 'bon voyage' ....as if you were emotionally invested in her leaving.

You can use terminology (aka acronyms) that you would never use if you were actually in a room with all 486 of your 'friends' and not think twice about it. THREE LITTLE LETTERS? What The "heck"?

Only on Facebook will you take the time to take a quiz that determines which Hollywood Movie Star you are or what Weapon of Mass Destruction you are most likely to use or what type of church member you REALLY are and then.....give permission for it to be posted to your public profile. And, as if that wasn't revealing enough, you will THEN.....oh here's there FUN PART.....you will actually argue WHY those results are wrong by posting your own comments on your OWN results.

Now I'm dizzy.

Where are my Brownies?

Brownies for My Breakfast....Confessions on Facebook

I created this blog this morning after, what I thought was, just a momentary crazy entry on FaceBook. I am the CEO of a web-based business (yeah....my attorney said I had to choose a legitimate title because Queen of Fun wasn't listed as an option...so there, I am now CEO). So...in the middle of working I realized it was 11:00 a.m. and I hadn't had anything to eat all morning. I was hungry - hey, even CEOs get hungry!

So, against my better judgment, I went to the kitchen and got myself - hold on to your widgets and gadgets and HTML....a BROWNIE (I bet you didn't see that coming!). Then, and I don't know why, I decided to share this with my virtual friends. This is called a momentary distraction. I simply put, as my status update, "I just had brownies for breakfast...seriously...what's that about"? And the replies started popping in faster than I could read! Affirmations....validations and even a reference to the great Bill Cosby - comparing his commenting that chocolate cake contained eggs, milk, wheat.....making it a health food! Seems like I'm not the only one answers to the beckoning of the brownie. Not that I'm at all ashamed. I am not. I love them. Who doesn't? And why shouldn't I have a Brownie for my Breakfast? As my grandmother once told me (I promise this is true and, in fact, she gave me a little plaque to hang on my wall saying so) "Life is uncertain....eat dessert first!"

So what will this Blog be about? Stay tuned - tell all your friends and get ready to get real! Brownie lovers - it's time to come out of the (pantry) closet!!

What did YOU have for breakfast?