No.... I'M funnier!

For my Friday Foto (gag...I still feel so guilty for doing that) I'm using a picture I borrowed from my good friend "google images". We have an understanding and it's ok with him if I use his pics as long as I give him credit. Duly noted...so let it be!

Do you and your husband ever have this argument? Really - we have debated who is funnier than whom (who? whom? or WHO CARES?). But that's about the extent of our arguments. So what if he's actually performed at a comedy club? I don't care - I'm still funnier!

We kind of figured out that arguments are such a waste of time and not nearly as much fun as laughing, talking, scheming and plotting different ways we plan to take over the world....you know, life's simple pleasures.

So next time you find yourself headed toward an argument - just stop, put your hands on your hips and with your best 'serious face' look right at your opponent and say...."OH YEA?? WELL....I'm FUNNIER THAN YOU!" Then smile and walk away.

Being 'right' is so overrated - and laughter really is the best medicine!

FAIL!!

I'm not much for focusing on the negative but I think this is of global importance. Girls - has this ever happened to you?

You eat a healthy dinner.

Then - 30 minutes later - BAM....the craving hits and your mind goes into frenzy mode. You purposefully did NOT buy junk food at the your last trip to the grocery store. Now you're in PANIC mode and there is NO CHOCOLATE to be found!

I couldn't wait for the time it would take to bake some D'lish brownies. I needed a fix and I needed it right away.

I go to my default emergency plan. JIFFY COOKIES. Some people call them 'no bake'. Whatever you call them - they are warm and yummy chocolate - especially if you eat them right out of the pan!

So, I decided to just make half of a recipe - because I have such self control (HA).
I don't know where I went wrong but they turned out DRY and hard. FAIL!!!

But - I managed to get my fix before they set up like little lumps of clay.

So...if you don't have this recipe handy, I'm sharing it with you now. You will thank me one day. And for goodness sake.....just make the WHOLE recipe. Then someone else will thank you!!

No-Bake Cookies

1. 2 cups sugar
2. 1 stick of butter
3. 1/2 cup milk
4. 1/3 cup cocoa powder (Not Dutch Process)
5. 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter (I’ve used crunchy, but if you go this route you should use a little more peanut butter overall, maybe 1/3 cup more).
6. 1 teaspoon vanilla
7. 2 1/2 cups quick cook oatmeal (NOT instant...but the one minute kind)

Place sugar, butter, milk and cocoa in large saucepan, and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Boil for exactly one minute.

Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter and vanilla until peanut butter melts. Stir in oatmeal.

Drop by the spoonful onto waxed paper or a silicone baking mat, and allow to cool. Enjoy!!!!!

Oh yeah...I ROCK!

Who knew this little Blog of mine which happened quite synchronistically (really, what would I do without Dictionary.com) would suddenly be at the center of my daily thoughts? And now.....ladies and gentlemen (yeah...I gots myself a guy follower!) I have been given another award!! Please.....keep the applause to a minimum.

Thank you JenniLoo of Jonesin for the Jones'

This is just SO MUCH FUN! So here we go with the rules of this one:

First, as the recipient of this prestigious award I have to tell 10 true things about myself in my blog that no one else knows

Second, I have to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.

Third, I have to notify those 10 bloggers who follow the same forum - I'll be leaving comments on each of your pages and when you post your ten things, be sure to post a link back to me!

My Ten Things:

1. I stuffed my bra on a first date.
2. I used to wear a ring that was made with the eye of a dead man. Really. A friend whose dad made dentures for a living made it. I didn't get to keep it but it sure made for fun conversation while I had it.
3. I am the CEO of a corporation (but this blog is where I get to just play).
4. I was the 6th grade Spelling Bee champion.
5. I parasailed UPSIDE DOWN one time because I wanted to see what everything looked like from that angle.
6. I have a crush on Johnny Depp - oh wait...I guess that's not a secret. :-)
7. I can imitate Sharon Osborne - and it's pretty funny!
8. I have never seen a James Bond Movie or Harry Potter...or Lord of the Rings.
9. I'm related to a famous NASCAR driver but I've never, ever watched a race!
10. My brownies are so good because I use a secret ingredient that is not from the United States. :-)

Now the People I have tagged:
AMS - Faith, Hope, Love
TeeTee - Through the Looking Glass

Southern Belle
Annie - Chapters of Our Life
Yours Truly (feel better!)
Frannie Fires Back
Puddles of Sunshine
JP - Simply Yet Perfectly Sweet
Let's Have a Cocktail
Cardigans and Kisses

WOW - that was SO hard to choose just 10! And this is why I haven't posted in a few days. SO....TAG Y'ALL!! Pass on the love. :-)

The Letter "D" is for Delicious!!

A. I do not love to cook. Shocked?

B. I love to bake? Confused?

C. I used to think they were basically the same thing. They are not. Cooking, in my definition equals work and necessity. While I might prefer to hang out with friends, lay by the pool, read blogs or books, paint a room and rearrange everything two or three times just to mess with the feng shui gods, at some point my body says "HEY....we need a little refueling here, if ya don't mind!" That's when it's time to cook.

But baking equals FUN (again...in my own personal dictionary). Baking is art - it's an opportunity to indulge the senses that go beyond the basic necessity for sustaining life and yet....it brings a form of balance to an otherwise, drab existence. It's the culinary Feng Shui.

And that is why, after I did a 5 mile mountain trek yesterday with my husband, we came home and ate a protein filled omelet brunch and had a mid day protein shake. But later that evening, I met one of my best girlfriends for dinner and completed the Yin to my Yang by splitting a piece of Chili's Chocolate Paradise pie with her.....and yes...it was simply Delicious!!

It Clearly Says "Omelet Pan"

Hubby and I love, love, love weekend brunch and would dearly love to experience it every other day of the week but there’s that little thing called ‘work’ that keeps cramping our lifestyle. Nonetheless – I'm talking about a slow, laid-back kind of day where we drink coffee till 10:00 a.m. and follow it up with, what he refers to as, a ‘country girl breakfast’. That means biscuits and cream gravy, strawberry jam and scrambled eggs with cheese and, just for that extra bit of tasty, caloric delight….bacon. AHHH – bacon. So we talk about how yummy that would be and reminisce about the days before we knew what ‘carbs’ were. Then we agree that, perhaps, we should stick to omelets – which we love and since I’m from Texas – I, naturally, top mine with pico de gallo. Now THAT is what I call good eatin’!


So – here’s the point…..we decided to go shopping for a bona-fide omelet pan. Sure, you can cook them in a traditional non-stick pan that you’d use for grilled cheese sandwiches or salmon fillet but what if we had a pan that was made specifically for cooking omelets? How distinguished we would feel and how magnificent those omelets would surely taste.

SO…off to “Kitchen Gadget Store” (I love the store but am not so sure the employees are the sharpest knives in the drawer – kitchen humor – ha!). Hubby and I walk the aisles in search of the HOLY GRAIL of omelet pans since we have committed to less carbs, more protein. Alas – there it was. I picked it up and it said in big, bold letters “Omelet Pan”. It was beautiful and shiny and EXPENSIVE which had to mean something wonderful. Hubby doesn’t love (aka - abhors) shopping so this meant our trip to said store had come to an end. We proceed to the checkout counter with treasure in hand. The young man, whose job was to scan item, collect money, and bid us a heart-felt “have a good day”, says “Yea…this is a ‘good pan’ but I hear EGGS STICK TO IT”.

I looked around to see if someone was filming for America's Funniest Videos. And.... I’m thinking about contacting Alanis Morissette to ask her to re-write her song….”Isn’t it Ironic”?

Favorite 'Foto' Friday

Ahhhhh - I can't believe I'm breaking my own rule with that title! I have always had a disdain for not spelling words correctly but I also like alliteration (dictionary.com definition - "The repetition of the beginning sounds of words, as in “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,” “long-lived,” “short shrift,” and “the fickle finger of fate.” - just in case you wanted an official reference or, if you are like me and didn't know that it's what it's called.)

My husband suggested that now that I'm a woman of word wisdom that I be sure and pronounce it correctly. "I like to alliterate" and not "I are illiterate" - in which case, I could not even give you a dictionary.com reference if I wanted to.

I'm dizzy...what was I trying to say?

Oh yeah...Pictures on Friday. See? That just doesn't sound as much fun. Anyway - here's one of my favs. It's a man holding a goat named Madonna. He entices people with his little goat to come listen to his stories of the history of the beautiful island of St. Thomas. I was one of them and it was amazing.

I hope you enjoy this new Friday Feature and now, I'm going to go eat a Krispy Kreme. I guess it's ok to break the rules sometimes, even my own!

Part Time Lover

Back in the day Stevie Wonder had a smash hit called 'Part Time Lover'. It was hot. He was hot. I'll stop there. One line says: "We are undercover passion on the run...Chasing love up against the sun..."

Seems like everyone has one these days....sneaking a little private time at work - hoping no one notices. Being so lost in being together that you can't even hear when someone calls your name. You try to go to sleep at night but it's so hard to let go....to say goodbye. You can't stop thinking about what you're missing....missing it so badly that your hands begin to twitch. Just one more touch.

A friend of mine, just this morning, told me she went to bed with hers with her husband lying right next to her. She's very addicted to her PTL and her husband acknowledges it and simply refers to this PTL as 'her mister'. She doesn't care - he has his own PTL. Sometimes they make it a foursome.

Really people....put the iphone away and go bed. Who knows....you might discover some new 'undercover passion' with that cute guy lying next to you!!

NO Bananas Before Breakfast

I love bananas (not as much as you know what but...DUH). I'm eating one now. However, I can't eat a banana first thing in the morning. I'm not sure what goes on biologically in my stomach but if I don't have something else in my stomach before eating a banana I will immediately double over in E-X-T-R-E-M-E pain! Wow that took a lot of time and effort to spell that out like that but I'm trying to make sure you know that it HURTS if I do.

So, a while back, my hubby and I are sitting at the kitchen table talking one morning and without thinking, I took a bite of a banana.

****IMPORTANT INFO PERTINENT TO STORY - Hubby didn't know this little tidbit of odd behavior at the time of the 'incident'.******

Back to the story.....

Suddenly, I bend over writhing in pain. I can hardly speak because it hurts SO BAD. I see a bag of Cheetos (don't judge me!) on the cabinet. I point to the bag and all I can say is "CHEETOS....GIVE ME A CHEETO". Seriously. This happened.

He grabs the bag and shoves it towards me with a look of sheer panic in his eyes! I scarf down a couple of Cheetos and the pain begins to subside. I sit up and he says, in a most confused tone, "what just happened?"

So now every time I'm in ANY type of pain he says "Need a Cheeto?" Yeah...he's such a funny man!!

Put them in the recycle bin - for crying outloud!

I am a born-again saver. And by that I mean....I inherited the 'thrifty' gene.

My dad was.....uh-hem....'frugal'. And yet....somehow I managed to think I had an amazing childhood. Sure, he would embarrass me when we'd go shopping and he'd walk up to the checkout counter and say "how much will you take for this?". As I stood there in horror, poking him in the side saying "DAD...the price is on the tag", he'd turn to me and say "yes, but that's not the price you have to pay....always ask."

As a teenager, I was mortified until I observed that many times the sales person would say "oh...we'll give you 10% off". Are you serious?? Then why didn't they just put up a sign that said "10% off"??? But I had some really cool stuff!

He also knew where all the best sales in town where. It's not that we were dirt poor - in fact, he was a genius when it came to investing leaving my mom in great financial shape when he passed away suddenly. He was just smart with money.

Now that I'm all grown up I am pretty proud to say that I LOVE A BARGAIN and am queen of the good deals (ask my husband how much I have SAVED him over the years!)

But there really should be a place where I draw the line on being frugal. Right? I mean really, how many empty Salsa Containers do I need to keep to store leftovers? Today, I'm going against my genetic nature and tossing a few in the recycle bin. After all, I'm sure it will be melted down and someday I'll end up buying another container of Salsa made out of recycled plastic. I think this is truly....the circle of life.

"C" ... Coffee + Creamer = Consciousness

This morning we celebrate the letter "C"

I think I'm a pretty nice person. I get along with almost everyone and just love life in general. But it takes a little time in the morning before "I" actually come to life and this generally 'nice person' wakes up. I am NOT what people refer to as a 'Morning Person'. I'm not mean - at least I don't think I am. The real problem is I can't form complete sentences before I have my coffee. Yes...I'm one of those, thanks to my grandmother who started letting me have 'coffee milk' at her house when I was about three years old. It was about 2/3 cup of milk and 1/3 cup coffee and lots of sugar!!

My incredibly thoughtful (and wise) hubby gets the coffee ready before we even go to bed at night so all I have to do is push a button and coffee begins brewing. OR...if we know for sure what time we're getting up he will even set the timer and I awaken to the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee. I know he does this because he loves (or maybe it's purely out of self-defense but I'm going to say it's the love thing,)

Here's my issue - I like International Delight French Vanilla creamer in my coffee.

They recently redesigned the container I've used for years without my knowledge! Their reason? I quote..... "Designers refer to their work as a new, more European, sleek design". I am not European - at least not first thing in the morning.

So, if the people who make this wonderful product know it is for people who will be putting it in their coffee AND that a lot of their customer base consists of people who are NOT 'morning people' WHY OH WHY OH WHY would they change their container design WITHOUT attaching some kind of WARNING LABEL? A simple statement that says "Hey friends...before you pour that first cup in the morning please take notice that we have redesigned this bottle and you will now have to open it in the complete OPPOSITE direction than you have been doing for years." I am a nice person....I am a nice person....I must remember....I am a nice person....please put the knife down....I am really a nice person!

My video introduction to Why I Love Brownies

Ok - someone has a FlipCam....Look out!!

Somebody's watching me...

I wonder if Geico would like my opinion? NO? Too bad!

I LOVE THE GECKO....and those 'eyes' just annoy me. There, I said it. Now...MORE GECKO!! It's the accent - and when he offers biscuits and jam, I imagine the two of us sitting in a french bistro laughing like old friends.....is it odd that I find him a wee bit sexy? Yeah...it is. Forget I said that.

That's not the point - that's just an editorial comment. My point is.....I DO love Facebook. I've been reacquainted with people I haven't seen in years - I mean yeeeeeaaars - and now, we are 'FRIENDS'. Thank you, Facebook.

So, I post a status update or throw up a couple of pictures and BAM....my new old friends (and distant relatives that I could not identify if they walked up to me in the mall) are commenting like the gap between all those years never existed.

HELP!! What is Facebook protocol? Should I acknowledge those random comments? And why do I suddenly feel like ...somebody's watching me!

Monkey Business

Why is it called "monkey grass"?

And why do I work so hard to cultivate a beautiful green lawn only to be at the mercy of the drought or weeds that apparently think "weed and feed" means "feed the weeds"! I baby it...mow it with the blade on the proper setting....feed it those little power pellets that cost more than my anniversary dinner - and for what?

But monkey grass??? Pay it no attention and it thrives. And now, because I've left it to itself for a couple of months - it has gone wild and taken over my patio....like a bunch of wild monkeys! Only not as cute.

So - I'm off to give my little monkeys a hair cut!! I guess it's just the week for hair cuts!

I Long for Long Hair

Is it just me or does anyone else go through the same torture ritual of trying to grow your hair out into some L-O-N-G fab flowing frock only to realize half way into the process that you are just not meant to have it?

I am from Texas and yes....I have big hair! In Texas, it's really awesome. Shoot, girls are chosen for cheerleader based on how big their hair is (or on how big something is....I forget exactly).

I am not Jessica Simpson and even though I own, and actually wear, cowboy boots - no one has ever confused me for her....nor Carrie Underwood nor any other big haired bleach-blond. I'm not implying that Jessica or Carrie aren't natural blonds...or Marilyn Monroe or that Pink's hair wasn't actually Pink...I'm just sayin'......

So I am, once again, throwing in the towel and getting my hair cut today. I suppose there could be worse fates in life than not being able to have 'Hollywood Hair'...like maybe I actually DID have the FAB hair and thought I could act in a movie.....I'm just sayin'.... JK (Love ya Jess!)

The Letter "B"

Today's feature..... The Letter "B"...as in Blond - Legally Blond that is!! I myself AM blond, legally but not naturally but please do NOT tell anyone. It would come as a complete shock to those who know and trust me. Maybe not...definitely not.

I will be attending the musical "Legally Blond" this coming Saturday evening at the beautiful Fox Theatre (see how I spelled 'theatre' so as to impress you with my artsiness? You are impressed, right?). We'll be in downtown Atlanta for a night of music and mayhem (and yes...someone else will be driving me there - read HERE for explanation...yes, I blog on this site too!).

I'm going because this was a Birthday present from my awesome family! "B" is also for Birthday!

Last and certainly most obvious - "B" is for Brownies! Always remember...."Life is uncertain...Eat Dessert First!" So if you're putting off that 'what if' idea or action - DON'T! Take that leap of faith, trust yourself and your instinct and DO IT now! And to that I say BOOYAH Baby!

And the winner is......

If you've ever seen "A Christmas Story" then you know how exciting it is to receive an award!

I am officially accepting my first BLOG AWARD!! I briefly mentioned receiving it last week....and then my computer went haywire and I was out of town. Oh - one quickly learns how addicted to the internet she can be when there IS NO ACCESS!!

SO...I humbly (Oh...that is SUCH A LIE) - I PROUDLY accept this Lovely Blog Award. I'd like to just keep it for myself, put it on the dashboard of my car and drive around honking and shouting "LOOK AT ME....I WON AN AWARD" - but I'll follow the rules....THIS TIME - but don't push your luck!

Thank you Mrs.EyeCanSee - who has one of the CUTEST Blog Titles - "The Juice is Worth the Squeeze"! - what a sweetie! I am passing this on to Five of my Favs are here are DA RULES (follow 'em or there will be consequences! No there won't....yes, there will!)

1.) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her link.

2.) Pass the award to 5 other bloggers that you have newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So I'm passing this award along to:
1. Birthday Girl (because if you don't know by now...I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!)

2. ~K~ (because she makes me LaUgH every day!)

3. The Weary Publicist (because she's little but STRONG and tells it like it is!)

4. Cassi of "High Heels and Hunting Boots" (because she keeps me connected to my Texas Heritage while struttin' her stilettos!)

5. Jennifer of "Embrace the Everyday" (because this day...right now... is all we have - and it is certainly to be embraced!)

Share the Love my friends...Good Karma to you all!

Rocky Mountain "Hi"

Good morning world! My hubby and I are still in Colorado and OH...MY...GOODNESS....it is a perfect crisp, clear morning with a view of Pikes Peak right out the kitchen window of my Brother-in-law and Sister-in-Crime's house. Wish you were here. OR...as my dad used to say "The weather's here....wish you were beautiful." LOL (yeah....read that again).

My birthday is TOMORROW (hint hint) and we are celebrating..... (again - I actually had a surprise party at home last week with my family in Atlanta because they are awesome and know how much I love birthday parties).... by going to a place called The Flying W Ranch. YEE HAW!! It's a working Dude Ranch (uhhhh...dudes, cool...that was my Beavis & Butthead voice) with live entertainment and chuck wagon supper!! This is a far cry from the Buckhead dining experience of downtown Atlanta but I have a feeling my Texas roots will feel right at home. I can't wait! Pictures to follow.

Oh...I got a LOVELY BLOG AWARD - my first EVER by the wonderful MrsEyeCanSee and as soon as I get a chance to slow down and get back to normal life I'm going to pass on this wonderful gift!!

Happy Day Before my Birthday Y'all!! :-)

Convertible - Sunscreen = OUCH

This is what I spent the day riding around in. I know....poor baby. This is my brother in law's car but he let me and my SIC (I affectionately refer to her as my sister-in-crime) drive it today. We left Colorado Springs in the morning and headed for Breckenridge for lunch and shopping. Eight Hours in a convertible - top down (DUH!) and the most amazing sunshiny day you can imagine! We had a BLAST!!

She asked if I wanted some sunscreen before we set out on our adventure but I said "No thanks....I want a tan". Bad decision. And when we got home from our tour de France (ok....not really France but it's more fun to say than 'drive thru the mountains') I was EXTREMELY thirsty!! Parched you might say. Guess what? Chardonnay doesn't exactly quench your thirst but it sure does make the BURN hurt a lot less!

Guess what - they have a CHOCOLATE SHOPPE in the middle of town. Mmmmmm....FUDGE!! Yeah....a little piece of heaven just for Moi!

Baby Gots New Shoes

I got me some HOT PINK and SILVER sassy Saucony running shoes. WoooooHoooo!! They look Mah-ve-lous!! And if I'm going to be forced to be healthy at certain times in my life...I should at least look good, yeah? Agree?? YES, you do. Don't lie and pretend that you are purely into fitness for fitness sake. We want to look good if we're walking to the end of our driveway to get the mail.

So - I decided to hike some trails that I'd never hiked before. Let me correct myself - my hubby and I set out to hike. Ok...I respect, admire, esteem.....etc. etc....my man more than any man on the planet. He is A-W-E-S-O-M-E. But - if lost, he upholds the standard of all men everywhere and will NOT ask for directions. Period.

What started out to be a nice morning one hour (TOPS) hike turned into a 7 mile hike. The new shoes did NOT come with GPS!! I had not eaten before we left the house.

I was weak, starving...losing sight....dizziness setting in.....As soon as we walked through the door - the Brownies beckoned and I heeded the call. Emergency stash saved my life!! And let this be a lesson to you all....Keep a First Aid Kit handy!!

Brought to you by the letter "A"

I grew up with Sesame Street and I guess I could attribute (BLAME) part of my love for the brownie on Cookie Monster. I mean, come on....I was a kid and my little pea brain was just mush. Ok...not much has changed apparently!!

Anyway - I'm going to use this opportunity to enrich and enlighten my incredibly vast audience. :-)

So today is brought to you by the letter "A".

"A" is for alter-ego. Everyone has one...yes you do, stop lying. And if you really don't, you should get one. They're AWESOME - which also starts with "A".

I got tired of being told “you can’t act like that in public” or “don’t say that out loud!” So… I bought a wig and a black lace strapless dress, some rhinestone studded sunglasses, a feather boa and, for the pièce de résistance, a black Stetson Cowboy hat and brought to life a sassy Southern Belle I affectionately call “Miss Peach” because, after all, I’m from Georgia by way of Texas and it just doesn’t get much more Southern than that. And guess what? Miss Peach could get away with almost anything.

I began to refer to her as my sister and blamed her for anything that wasn't "appropriate".

One time I took my sister on a weekend getaway with hubby only I didn’t tell him she would be coming along. When we were getting ready to “retire” for the evening he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he came out of the bathroom, I was gone and my sister was standing there in all her glory. Now, before we travel he asks “is your sister coming along?” If I say “not this time” it’s hard for me to tell if the look on his face is one of relief or regret.

"A" is for Alter-ego.

Next Monday - the letter "B". Be ready!!

'Splain this to me.....

Why is it when you have to sneeze...but it won't come and you begin make noises that sound like you are ....well - on the verge of something other than a SNEEZE, that's for sure!!"huh uh....oh..hhhhhh" - and right before "YES....OH BABY"....

Wait....I lost my train of thought.

Oh yes....WHY - when we can't sneeze - do we look at the sun?? Yeah...that's what I was talking about. Sneezing. Just curious. :-)

Sticky Situation

So what happens when you get all excited about a 'cause' or a candidate or your kid and you decide to DO YOUR PART by telling the world via a....bumpers sticker. Really?

When was the last time you read a bumper sticker and thought to yourself...."I've been waffling back on forth on who to vote for but NOW...because of YOU - Mr. Guy with all the cool informative bumper stickers - I finally know which way to go." Besides, it was so witty it must certainly be right! Thank you! Oh...and thank you for reminding me I'm a failure as a parent....my kid's just really a great kid but he never made the honor roll.

But what makes me laugh is when your cause is no longer front page news, your kid isn't on the honor roll any more, your team is, in fact, NOT #1, and your awesome candidate lost the election - you continue to make your stand and let the free-wheeling world know, as they inch up on your bumper. So here's to you, Mr. Man of Integrity, for not buckling under the pressure of shame and humiliation. You keep telling 'em buddy!!

Bill Engvall was right - "Here's your Sign"!